Wo ist Dinkyduong?

 

Wo ist Dinkyduong?

In a world of very shitty content creators (especially those doing American in Germany content) ((yes you)) as well as vapid influencers and weird bots for clicks there was DinkyDuong. She was neat, monotone and exactly what I needed to feel less angry about living in Germany. She spoke about all the dust in this country and today as I put on my glasses at home for a rare occasion outside of watching television the dust appeared. It was everywhere despite having cleaned the entire house between Sunday and Monday. Maybe it was the spectacles or possibly the change in weather which is making my husband open every fucking window (dust magnet). Either way I realized I hadn't seen her on YouTube in a long, long while. I went there and it was true she had not posted anything in two years on her Geman channel and not in a year on her Vietnamese channel. So instead of dusting, I am writing and pleading if anyone knows where the Asian Kelly Stamps of Germany is please stand up. 

Sure I am on her social media which is now private. But I only follow on my Achso page which is so full of other random Germany related stuff I never see her on my feed. To follow her on my government name page she will probably never consider my request. It is a different speed over there with zero reference to Germany or being an expat. Either way she rarely posts and doesn't quite explain her absence from YT. She just makes quirky remarks about her following and posts images of her paintings. I guess that is better than watching people amass various size ring lights or make a few thousands and start doing incessant product placement. Frankly, I am so tired of supporting people I have watched for years all leave their jobs and life purpose to buy the same shitty custom house and outfit it with all the same minimalist, cork crap. So what you got new jars for your coffee station and your countertops are granite um I really do not care. What I want is people I can relate to giving unsolicited advice that speaks to me. An insight into their world that somewhat overlaps mine. I have walked the same streets as DinkyDuong in so many ways than one and I was comforted by that. And now she is basically gone.

Sometimes I think Germany just chews people up and spits them out especially the good ones. Others are just scrambling to survive. And in those reoccurring stories it has nothing to do with a Berlin big city dog eats dog experience. It is more or less the same story of not looking or sounding like everyone else and Deutschland just being cruel in that aspect. I hate seeing that. It has been nearly four years and I have yet to see one person just make through to the other side called Leben in Deutschland. They all seem to fumble the bag whether that be American football, studies at Uni, finding an apartment or best yet speaking the language. It is so discouraging seeing all these promising people who can really make it anywhere get the New York, New York taken out of them in the smallest of villages deep in the shittiest of Bundeslandes. I want someone to just be able to make it honestly. No selling out. No becoming some videographer. I would like to see a book written. Or maybe a world stage invite. I want to see someone get a deal with Dr.Pepper and disappear into a nice life without cork containers. 

And I take some of this back. There are good creators but they sometimes dip as low as to represent things they claimed they never would or their audience expected them never to do. That is just as disappointing as tucking their tails and repatriating. I have seen people struggle, start all over again or just fade away after one last hiatus. I get it. I have been there too. Trust, if there wasn't a Panaderia outside I would totally be on a plane trying to recoup from this fucking place. And if I was as popular as I once expected to be, I wouldn't even explain myself. I wouldn't give a heads up and I wouldn't apologize for the time missing when I returned. It should be a thing by now that Germany is cold, dark, grey and mean. And sometimes you just need a break from it and there is no amount of bread, drinking in public or medical coverage that can make it better. I am certain she is around and painting is her out during these days and times. I'll give her that and she shouldn't have to say it for me. But I miss her and so many like here that make me feel better about being here too. Ugh, back to the assholes reading articles out loud, spitting off top ten lists or my new favorite making parodies of their home countries versus the illusion of Germany they have created in their own heads. Oh and cork lidded containers and Moleskin journals and reusable water bottles and whatever power fuel bowl of açaí hafer oder Egal. 

P.S. I fucking hate the bread here. The insurance sucks too. Now the beer...